Why Fathers?
We live in a world where we focus on what is best for me and
what I deserve. As woman in history we have typically been discriminated
against and treated unfairly and as lesser than men. However, with the feminist
movement we have seen the gap between men and women slowly closing. This is a
good thing but has created several ill consequences. One being that in our
fight for equality we have tried to make ourselves better than men. We should
all remember that we are no better than men nor are we worth less than them. It
isn’t a matter of who is better or not, but of fulfilling our individual roles
together. It bothers me when a man assumes that I cant do something such as
lifting a heavy box, some form of construction, etc. However, I don’t often stop
to think about how maybe it’s not that he doesn’t think I can’t do it but it is
more that he is trying to respect me and serve me because he values me. Women (my-self included), need to stop being offended when a man offers his assistance. Instead we should rid ourselves of pride and
say thank you.
A funny vine circulated the web a few years ago with a woman
commenting “I’m a strong, independent woman and I don’t need no man”. I myself have
fallen prey to using this line as a means of standing up for myself. However, I
would be ridiculous to agree completely with it. Men are essential to life,
they literally help create it. Now you could argue that now a days with the
advances of technology that you don’t even need a man to conceive a child.
However, life would not be complete without the assistance of a man. No matter how
much you argue it, men are needed and play a vital role in our lives and in the
lives of our children.
Again, I ask, why Fathers? Why exactly are fathers so
important in our lives and how can their influence shape my own life and way of
being? Studies show that children who don’t have a father in the home are more
likely to have delinquent tendencies (committing crime and going to jail),
promiscuous daughters and have lower income. Who knew that fathers had such a
huge impact in the lives of their children?
We view mothers as the nurturers/care takers and fathers as
the providers. This is true but does not cover everything. Both the mother and
father should be nurturers/caretakers and providers, just in different ways. The
father will often be out of the house working so that he can provide for the
physical wants and needs of his family. However, when he comes home it is
important that he spends time with his children teaching them and playing with
them. Young boys especially through rough and tumble play with fathers learn
how to better control their anger and how to channel their strength. Children also learn a lot through observation
of their parents. They will learn how to date and interact with people of the
opposite sex based on the example that the parents set. I have fond memories of
when living at home going on father/daughter dates. Those dates were important
because they taught me what appropriate dating was and how a man should treat
me and I a man.
When a father is out of the home he cannot be the same father
that he would be if he was in the home more. The world teaches that you can buy
anything with money. It also teaches that men are only valued for how much money
they make. This is not true. I have found from personal observation and
experience that true happiness and success come from a loving and close family
that is centered on the teachings of Jesus Christ. Sure, having money may make
certain aspects of life easier, but at what expense? I’d much rather have my
father present in my life then a nice car or house. Money comes and goes but
family is forever. The world teaches us that we should make an impact in the
world by doing something big and public. However, father’s make the biggest
footprints by being active in the home; their legacy is their children.
I am so grateful for my father and the example that he has
been in our home by presiding, protecting, providing, being present and partnering
with my mom. I am so blessed to have had him so involved in my life starting
from a young age even until now. I know that when I have any questions, fears
or concerns that he will always be there to guide me through them. I know that
without his influence in my life that I would be a different person. Father’s
come in all shapes and sizes and due to some circumstances not all families
will have a father present in the home whether due to death, abandonment, work,
etc. Granted your children will have the best chances when the father is home but
that does not mean that they are left for naught. Father figures (spiritual
leader, teacher, uncle, grandpa, male family friend, etc.) can come from many different places and can make
a huge impact in a child’s life. While on my mission my mission president
became a father figure for me and helped me through some difficult situations. I
am eternally grateful to him as well.
Women are great, but you cannot replace having a father in a
child’s life. As we celebrate femininity let’s not forget about the importance
of the men in our lives.
Here is another cool link that you can check out to know more about the importance of fatherhood. Let me know in the comments below your thoughts on "why fathers?"
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